Enemies of Creativity

Though people exist in communities, living sometimes seems like a very solitary experience. I'm not just talking about that whole macabre "we all die alone" line of thought. I'm also thinking of those moments where you have this idea or feeling that you want to share with someone, but no matter how you explain it, even if the other person says they get it, you have the feeling that you are being misunderstood. Sometimes you may even feel that you are incapable of being understood on a particular subject or with a particular group of people.

But then too you have those moments where someone else describes a phenomenon you have experienced that is so spot-on, so right that you realize that there are some things that are shared across human existence. I had a moment like that today when I read a list of Twyla Tharp's "habitual demons that invade the launch of every project" in her book The Creative Habit. They are:

1. People will laugh at me.
2. Someone has done it before.
3. I have nothing to say.
4. I will upset someone I love.
5. Once executed, the idea will never be as good as it is in my mind.

Tharp put into words the very worries that go through my head whenever I am beginning a new project, even if it's something as potentially dry as writing an essay for school (in the past) or work. I had just never taken the time to separate and really think about these distinct threads of fear.

Tharp, obviously a successful writer and choreographer, has clearly found ways to get past these fears. Which means I should be able to as well. I started thinking about some old tricks from cognitive behavioral therapy to deal with "distorted thinking" and realized that they might be an excellent strategy to deal with the "demons" that plague the start of a project.

Next time I find myself at a standstill, frozen by those five thoughts, those enemies of creativity, I can help myself along by first recognizing those fears and then remembering "So what?". Because if you really think about it, is it the end of the world if somebody laughs at you? No. Just because somebody else already did it, does it mean it's not worthwhile for you to try? No. If a project doesn't turn out the way I envisioned, is it automatically horrible? Probably not. In fact, I had a teacher tell me once to stop striving to be "the best" because then I would be limiting myself to what I had already defined as the ideal outcome and reducing the chance that I might exceed expectations. So true.

And so, despite my fear that this blog post is unoriginal, uninteresting, self-centered or otherwise insufficient, I will publish it. Because sometimes you just gotta get over yourself.